Still Small Voice

The still small voice. Well, I would never define either of my children in this way. They are not still, and they do not have small voices!! However, God uses their voices to reach me when I can't hear HIS voice. Times of struggles and doubt surround me lately. Multiple "to do" lists, places to be, and the daunting task of trying to find a job weigh on my mind constantly.  Yesterday, I was waiving my white flag to surrender and praying that nothing else would go wrong. Drew was working late so the kids and I had dinner. As I’m thinking that I can’t wait for this day to be over Cane begins singing this song. “God gave me you for the ups and downs…” This is an amazing song that describes what a marriage should be and what we try to make ours like. Anyway, my point is that God always puts a song in Cane’s heart to make me snap out of it. Just the other day he was singing, “Motions” by Matthew West.  I’m usually so worked up in the details and situations of life that I drown everything out. God knows a song and my kid's voice will catch my ear! It reminds me of the scripture in Kings (I kings 19:21) where it talks about God NOT being the earthquake and NOT being in the fire. Instead, he came to Elijah in a whisper. Hearing Cane sing his songs is God’s way of trying to get me to listen. Sometimes I don’t see or hear HIM in the (metaphorical) earthquakes of life. Rather, I see and hear him by loving my kids. God can work through them to reach me in my stubborn doubtfulness. Don’t let me leave Alley out of this one. Her tactics are intentional and bold. She will bring me a bible or scripture on paper and give me a look that says, “You need to read this.” Of course, this doesn’t make the struggles of life disappear. However, I realize I have two amazing kids,a great God that loves me, and a man that God gave me for the ups and downs.  So I will try to listen more.

Graduation

Life was so hectic last year, that I only blogged once. Hopefully, I will have more time on my hands now. Things are a little bit slower thanks to the milestone of GRADUATION!

I am a college graduate. Can I tell you how long I've waited to say that? A really long time. Graduation was fun, but overwhelming. It has taken me over a month to fully process how I feel about it all. My final semester was crazy, and I hated every minute of school. I felt like it was robbing me of my life, my time with my kids and Drew, and my freedom. I just couldn't wait to finish. When graduation time came, it felt like just another day. However, it turned out that I realized what a blessing it was. I have a huge sense of pride and accomplishment. I'm still feeling a little shocked that that part of my life is over. I didn't think it would ever be behind me! Up until graduation I kept thinking, "There has to be a mistake?" I guess it's the Negative Nancy inside me that says things can't be this good (or easy) in my life. Graduation was nice. I had my friends and family that have supported me though my entire life, with me to celebrate the occasion.

Of course, sharing it with the love of my life and our great kids was the biggest blessing. After all, we have been through it all together. They were all such troopers about my late nights of class, the "not right now mom's writing a paper" response, and my overall exhausted state of mind.

Ok, it's been a month (since graduation) and I must say I miss school. Who knew I would go from despising it to missing it? I know it's because I am in a weird transition point in my life. Life was so busy and now it's too slow. I am looking forward to my alternative certification teaching class, and being able to get a job. I guess Drew is right, I thrive on busy.